Seeing is [not necessarily] believing

This is the note that a kind friend once wrote down for me during a tearful and desperate moment in her office.  She told me to keep it with me if I needed to be reminded.

Sometimes we need hard evidence of future outcomes, especially those that our lives seem to hinge upon.  If only there was some way to determine what happens next, how I or others will react, or some reassurance that this is a fight that will be won.  If not, maybe I could just bow out now and no one would have to know that I was ever in the ring to begin with.

Through a series of difficult things where my first choice was to have some tangible reassurance, but what I got instead was disappointment, I have become very aware that those things I desperately need are instead within.  Not within me, but within something that has been deposited in me; like a secret room I rarely visit out of fear, mistrust, boredom, distraction, apathy, or because of dark rumors I’ve believed about that room.  The more I enter in and discover the resources He’s provided, the more real the intangible becomes.

How willing am I to seek out those hidden resources as opposed to those I can see, touch, and hear?

Something that frustrated me when I fumbled through some very dark parts of my life was that the authorities who had written about hardships and suffering used weighty and impressive vocabulary.  The books were thick, the print was fine, the chapters were long, and my little mind was overwhelmed.  They seemed to be talking about what I was going through, but in a scientific way that didn’t connect with me at all.

I would rather just get my point across and be helpful, hopefully.

We all need things that we can SEE or TOUCH or HEAR, something that brings us comfort.

And often I would prefer that it be written out for me.  But God wants to engage us in a private exchange.  We might come into the conversation with nothing but failure, but we leave with new faith, a different perspective, and an appreciation that God is very capable to handle what we give Him.

This is also a message to the Body of Christ today; we must move past putting our faith in the obvious things that are visible, that we believed would last forever, or at least until we could find something better!  It could be a place, a relationship, earthly leaders,  physical health, a church, an organization.  The Lord is kindly removing and weakening these things that we depend on.  Our future struggles and trials will require that our faith be placed in the Eternal, and the Enduring, not in the everyday.



  1. jenn – this was very timely for me – i love your authenticity and vunerability – through that you have – or better said, the lord has used you to touch my heart – keep up the good work friend.


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